The Chronicles of Autism Moms

Biggest Back To School Fears

This week Alison is joined by Hasna, Huma and Suzana to discuss their biggest back to school fears. How do we manage our anxiety about the upcoming school year? How to have a line of open communication with your child’s school and teachers? and much more!   Topics Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 19 – Biggest Back To School Fears. 00:30 – Alison kicks off the episode 02:00 – Suzana, what gives you the most anxiety personally about your son going back to school? 03:59 – Hasna, what gives you anxiety? Is this educational or social? 05:13 – Maybe you don’t like the way you finished the school year 05:36 – this anxiety never goes away, it’s just heightened in the run up to the school year 05:51 – you’re exhausted before the school year even starts 06:00 – To handle anxiety, Suzana likes to have meetings at end and beginning of year 06:48 – Huma’s hands are sweating just at the topic of the conversation 06:50 – Huma, how do you handle the back to school stress? 08:00 – Suzana: Summer vacation alone stresses me out! 09:26 – How do you go into meetings with the school/teachers calmly and prepared? 11:05 – Hasna: we as mothers are so traumatized from this process, it always triggers really negative feelings 12:28 – Why is the school not passing on the file to the next team? Where is the communication happening? 13:20 – This trickles down to our children—that feeling of not belonging—there’s no validation for their struggle 14:07 – Huma, I was very docile with my previous school. I had no expectations. My son was made to feel like he was a bad boy because the system failed him. 15:46 – How messed up is it that you can’t stand up and advocate for your child for fear of him getting kicked out of school! 18:40 – We are absolutely being let down by the system. Our kids in the present system are not the “preferred” children. 19:52 – Who gives anyone the right to not give our kids a voice? Why aren’t any schools helping kids find their voice. 20:36 – After 5 years Huma was told her child cannot return to the school. 23:13 – Top Tips Handling your biggest Back To School Fears   Summary This week Alison is joined by Hasna and Suzana to talk with Huma who is currently going through a particularly bad break-up with her son's school. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence that a lot of parents will experience   Topics Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 19 – Biggest Back To School Fears. 00:30 – Alison kick’s off the episode 02:00 – Suzana, what gives you the most anxiety personally about your son going back to school? 03:59 – Hasna, what gives you anxiety? Is this educational or social? 05:13 – Maybe you don’t like the way you finished the school year 05:36 – this anxiety never goes away, it’s just heightened in the run up to the school year 05:51 – you’re exhausted before the school year even starts 06:00 – To handle anxiety, Suzana likes to have meetings at end and beginning of year 06:48 – Huma’s hands are sweating just at the topic of the conversation 06:50 – Huma, how do you handle the back to school stress? 08:00 – Suzana: Summer vacation alone stresses me out! 09:26 – How do you go into meetings with the school/teachers calmly and prepared? 11:05 – Hasna: we as mothers are so traumatized from this process, it always triggers really negative feelings 12:28 – Why is the school not passing on the file to the next team? Where is the communication happening? 13:20 – This trickles down to our children—that feeling of not belonging—there’s no validation for their struggle 14:07 – Huma, I was very docile with my previous school. I had no expectations. My son was made to feel like he was a bad boy because the system failed him. 15:46 – How messed up is it that you can’t stand up and advocate for your child for fear of him getting kicked out of school! 18:40 – We are absolutely being let down by the system. Our kids in the present system are not the “preferred” children. 19:52 – Who gives anyone the right to not give our kids a voice? Why aren’t any schools helping kids find their voice. 20:36 – After 5 years Huma was told her child cannot return to the school. 23:13 – Top Tips for handling your biggest Back To School Fears     --- To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:

That’s Not Inclusion

Summary This week Alison is joined by Hasna and Suzana to talk with Huma who is currently going through a particularly bad break-up with her son's school. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence that a lot of parents will experience   Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 17 – That’s not inclusion! 01:20 – Can you just share with us Huma, what is the current situation? 04:40 – What was the lead-up to this happening? 08:30 – What accommodations have the school put in place over the years to assist Haider? 16:00 – Why was your shadow teacher so upset and unable to handle the situation, what was her feedback? 17:00 – Shadow Teachers often feel powerless and disrespected. 18:00 – When children on the spectrum are triggered repeatedly they go into fight or flight mode. 19:00 – I felt terrible for shouting at him when we got home and I wasn’t cross with him I was fearful for his future. 24:00 – I did so much for the school, volunteering, raising money organizing events 25:00 – Ambushed during the meeting with a long list of situations that I had no heads up on. 28:00 – Where is the school's accountability for this situation. With a child who has been at the school for a number of years, who is still being put into situations that trigger his behaviours that they could easily have avoided. 29:00 – I feel like I’m on trial every time I have a meeting at school. 31:00 – He has been continually excluded from opportunities at school because the teachers assume a situation will happen, even if there has been no history of such behaviour. Neurotypical children at the school get into worse situations but somehow are not subject to the same scrutiny. 33:00 – How do you feel now about the situation and the future? 34:00 – How is Haider now and what have you told him about the situation? 46:00 – There are excellent laws within education in Qatar in favour of SEN, however, they only extend to local schools. Private schools are able to continue to take extensive fees and have no accountability for the neurodiverse children they are paid to educate. Unfortunately, this particular school has taken full advantage of this.   --- To learn more about navigating the school process, watch Learn Autism’s video: Finding the Right School To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Travel Tips

Summary This week Alison is joined by Reen, Moira and Maha to discuss Travel Tips. How do we manage our anxiety and stress when making a long journey? How do we prepare to deal with scrutiny from other travelers?   Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 16 – Travel Tips. 01:20 – In the past what was the most stressful part of the journey? 02:30 – Do you think it helps that we are frequent travelers?04:10 – Traveling is made easier these days by having identification cards that show Autism as a hidden disability that can allow you to avoid stressful situations like long queues and busy noisy areas.05:30 – Have you experienced scrutiny from other travelers over any behaviors from your child and how have you managed it?08:30 – A friend of the podcast carries a pack of cards with her that details her son's condition which happens to be Fragile X and what behaviors may or may not occur. She gives these out to the people around them on the plane to make them aware and hopefully more understanding instead of possibly annoyed at any disruptions. An example of which will be available at the bottom of these show notes for you to print out.10:00 – What about the other end of the journey when you arrive at your destination?11:00 – Reen recounts a stressful story of traveling alone with two toddlers? 14:30 – What were the must-do preparations for the holiday? 16:50 – Kids clubs are not for everyone! 20:00 – Covid and the lack of travel for 2 years brought about some anxiety on the first trip. 21:00 – Top Tips for travel: Build a social story book for your child to prepare them for an upcoming trip showing them pictures of destinations and things they can do when they are there. A step up from the social story as your children get older is to involve them in planning the trip and have them research the location and things they can do. Make sure you have the snack they like to each packed and airplane food doesn’t cater to the average child. Prepare an information card about your child to hand out to people sitting around you as you feel appropriate.  --- To learn more about traveling with kids on the spectrum, watch Learn Autism's video: Managing Transitions. To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Standardized Testing

Summary This week Hasna and Alison talk about standardized tests. They explore what standardized tests measure, how schools filter students using these tests, consequences of the tests on parents and kid and wrap up with talking about the DSM-5.   Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 15 – Standardized Testing with Hasna.00:01 – What is standardized Testing? 01:50 – Why was Standardized Testing created?02:30 – When would it be appropriate for our neurodiverse children to have such testing?03:00 – Standardized Testing immediately puts a non-Standard child at a disadvantage04:00 What does the test consist of?07:00 – What are the consequences of these tests for our children?09:00 – Current tests are so outdated they do not reflect what the child is actually capable of.09:30 – A huge shift in testing is required, how do think this can be done?10:20 – DSM – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders – This manual is periodically updated, for example between version 4 and 5, Autism and Aspergers were redefined. Constantly evolving according to research. 13:00 – There are no current accommodations with the standardized tests for special needs children they are being compared to neurotypical children. --- To learn more about navigating the school process, watch Learn Autism’s video: Evaluation process and effective school inclusion To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Sibling Rivalry (Part 2)

Summary This week Huma, Karina and Alison continue their chat about sibling rivalry! They explore how to balance their family's needs, understanding your neurodiverse children's dynamics, how to help your children develop and maintain a healthy relationship and much more!   Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 13 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 2. 00:30 - Alison kicks off the show 00:40 – How do you deal with negativity and judgment from others when out with your children?02:50 – How would you deal with that kind of situation now?03:30 – Why do I have to still explain/justify my child’s behaviour? There is still a huge lack of awareness of the condition.08:00 – How do siblings manage having friends over to play?15:00 – Do you make plans for your children as a unit? At what point do they become individuals with different needs and different schedules? 20:00 – Top Tips for getting the balance with the siblings?- Tell your kids to be comfortable with their home situation and not to be embarrassed by it but it is something to benefit and grow from.- To not feel guilty if the sibling has lost out on some attention but to recognize when they need you and when their behaviour is just them asking for attention.- Talk to the siblings about any situation they may feel uncomfortable about, for example play dates and having friends over. Making a plan for new situations and how to accommodate everyone’s needs. Make sure that they know they are all equally important within the family unit.  --- To learn more about Sibling Rivalry, watch Learn Autism’s video: Supporting Your Child in the Home To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Sibling Rivalry (Part 1)

Summary This week Huma, Karina and Alison chat about sibling rivalry! They explore how to balance their family's needs, understanding your neurodiverse children's dynamics, how to help your children develop and maintain a healthy relationship and much more!   Topics   00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 13 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 1. 00:30 - Alison kicks off the show 1:45 – Tell us about the dynamics in your family Huma. Do you think any rivalry is typical or does Autism play a part? 4:40 – Now they are older, how has their relationship changed? How have you balanced their needs? 6:40 – Have the two youngest built an alliance? 7:15 – Do you ever see your middle child being a guide for the oldest? 7:55 – Karina, how about your boys, you have a different dynamic as they are twins. 9:00 – Autism has been the norm in the family so his sibling accepted everything as normal. 10:15 – What is the official line on our situation Mum? What should I tell my friends? 11:30 – Alison describes her family dynamic between her 3 children. 12:40 – Do you think the older child would speak up if she was frustrated? Do you think the youngest challenges her brother more than you would have? 15:30 – Do you think you were so focused on your neurodiverse child that your other child lacked the support they needed? 19:45 – Are girls more emotionally aware? Do the sister behave differently to the brothers of neurodiverse siblings? 22:05 – Karina with boys the same age and with the same peer group, have you or the sibling found difficulties with others?   To be continued in Part 2   --- To learn more about Sibling Rivalry, watch Learn Autism’s video: Supporting Your Child in the Home To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Mates & Playdates

Summary This week Huma, Karina and Alison chat about mates and playdates! They explore how to introduce their neurotypical children's friends to their autistic child, how to manage your own anxiety when introducing your child with Autism to someone new, how to prep your child for a playdate and so much more!   Topics 00:00 - This Life, The Chronicles of Autism Moms podcast, series 1 episode 12 – Mates & Playdates 00:27 - Alison kicks off the show 01:25 - Huma, What are your highs and lows of playdate experiences? 02:45 - Were you worried about how you're feeling or about how you would be perceived as a parent? 05:15 - After the dust settles, can your child see that his behavior resulted in not having the friends he wants? 06:22 - I was heartbroken to see that my son is not part of the group 07:05 - Karina: My son doesn't feel the need to be with friends.  He's older now and they play with video games so he doesn't mind as much, but when he was younger and they played with toys, he was there because I wanted him to be there. 07:42- Do we organize playdates because our kids want them to are we fulfilling our own needs and desires because we want to encourage social skills out of those? 08:13 - Alison: I organized playdates because I wanted to encourage his social skills 08:54 - How do we arrange playdates for our neurotypical children, how do we make that a successful, positive experience for the children? 10:09 - Alison: I always feel I have to prepare for family or friends coming to my home for the first time to try and stage the interaction between them.  I don't know if it's the right thing but I feel more calm if I prepare. 10:50 - Karina: I feel very blessed that I have a great group of friends who accept my family 11:38 - Alison: I want to protect my family from judgement that may come out of the experience 11:55 - Huma: The birthday story. I remember the pain and embarrassment 13:55 - Organizing playdates with really young kids or older adults and that's fine. 15:40 - Huma: my main goal is for my son to be accepted by his peers 16:04 - How do you manage anxiety with situations where you find unpredictability? 18:30 – Top Tips for navigating Mates & Playdates --- To learn more about playdates, watch Learn Autism’s video: Playground Games To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Social Interactions

Summary This week Maha, Suzana, Hasna and Alison chat about social interactions! They explore managing their own anxiety, how to guide their kids through navigating social situations and practicing social skills with their kids.   Topics 00:00 - This Life, The Chronicles of Autism Moms podcast, series 1 episode 11 – Social Interactions 00:27 - Alison kicks off the show 01:13 – Suzana, tell us about your experience with uncomfortable social interactions with your son and how that looked for you in the past 01:49 – We didn’t have the issue of not wanting to interact with people, but more of how do I interact with people. 04:11 – What was the reaction from the other moms when your son came to get help from them when dealing with social situations with their kids? 04:50 -  Maha, as a parent, has navigating your child’s social interaction every became overwhelming for you so much that you’ve decided not to attended a gathering? 06:31 – I have to get myself into a good state before heading into a new social situation because I’m not sure what my child’s reaction would be. 08:14 – Work on skills when you’re not limited by time or if you need to be somewhere or not. That takes the pressure off. Make sure you have patience. 09:16 – We’ve all done the iPads! 10:16 – I’m happy for my son to go out with friends but when I’m with him I can help steer the situation a bit more. I’m not embarrassed of him, I want to protect him from people who are not understanding of his behavior or make fun of him.  I want to teach my son to disclose so that he can advocate for himself 11:23 – Some days you’re willing to face that anxiety and other days its just too much 12:25 – I need everyone to understand our situation and I want people to understand that my child has Autism. Disclosure is power and people tend to understand once they know. The problem is that a lot of people are not compassionate. 13:45 – Social skills are learned through practice 14:19 –That is my fear with social interactions: that my son gets bullied, he gets hurt, he doesn’t understand the situation. 15:10 – There’s always a fear if it will always be like this, it’s very stressful 16:00 – There’s not enough compassion, awareness, effort etc, by the schools 17:44 – Maha tell us about a “crash and burn” situation. 20:20 – Sometimes we have to pick our battles and say that’s not the right thing for him right now 20:51 – You definitely start to accept that that’s how your child is. I always have a plan b if plan a doesn’t work out. We have to become more flexible when maneuvering more situations. 23:40 – We want our kids to be in situations where they are comfortable and sometimes uncomfortable so that they can push themselves 25:13 – Outwardly, my son doesn’t look like he has Autism. It’s so annoying to have to explain ourselves all the time.  26:43 – It’s hard to deal with the judgement from others on if I’m parenting well. 27:32 – What it’s like navigating doctor visits 30:50 – what helps me is to keep regular appointments so that the people and places are familiar and it becomes easier and more predictable for my son. It’s all practice and it gets easier. 33:38 – Top Tips for navigating social interactions --- To learn more about Social Interactions, watch Learn Autism’s video: Child-to-child interactions to promote social skills. To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Food Frustrations

Summary This episode includes Hasna, Suzana, Maha and Alison sharing their own unique experiences of getting their child with Autism to eat different foods and their frustrations with seeing them go from eating everything to just beige foods.  These moms chat about what that was like for them and how that affected them and their lives as women, mothers, and professionals. 00:00 - This Life, The Chronicles of Autism Moms podcast, series 1 episode 10 – Food Frustrations 00:27 - Alison kicks off the show 01:00 - Suzana, tell us about your son’s eating habits and how they make you feel? 05:05 - Apart from his general health and wellbeing, and how much anxiety you get from that, how else has that caused you anxiety and stress? Perhaps it started as a toddler/picky eater scenario but is now something more.  I wish there was something who could have put me in the right direction from the start. 06:08 – Should I hide fruits and veggies in his food?  I completely dropped the ball on exposing him to foods, that’s still necessary. 07:54 – This is not something that will work itself out 09:36 – The stress of traveling with a picky eater 10:06 – What would happen if someone gave you advice, meaning well, just to leave them and not let them eat if they won’t eat what’s offered? 10:50 – You’re dealing with your own anxiety and that of your child’s frustration who hasn’t eaten 11:10 – What has been your experience, Maha? 11:30 – My son’s brain processes that food in a completely different way to the way you or I do. 12:09 – Exposure is key, just having food on their plate, even if they don’t eat it, is good 12:36 – Kids sharing food with strangers 13:36 – Being a foodie, it’s hard having a beige eater and wanting to go and try new things? 13:44 – Associating food with memories 14:56 – It’s ok to say no to invitations, it’s ok to manage a situation in the best way you know how. Ipads are ok sometimes! 16:59 – we put so much emphasis on how things “should” be 17:33 – Alison’s lunch story: bring out the ipads! 19:38 – Hasna’s story: Autism and Type 1 Diabetes 20:39 – Not every autistic person doesn’t like food 22:50 – Top Tips for dealing with food frustrations --- To learn more about SEN Education, watch Learn Autism’s video: Picky eaters and problem feeders. To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today:  

Getting your team together

Summary This episode includes Moira, Huma, Reen and Alison sharing their own unique experiences of getting their child’s SEN team together including their teacher, shadow teacher and therapists, for the most effective approaches to get the best out of their child in school, therapy and home. These moms chat about what that was like for them and how that affected them and their lives as women, mothers, and professionals. Topics 00:00 - This Life, the chronicles of Autism moms podcast, series 1 episode 9 – Getting your team together. 00:30 - Alison kicks off the show 02:15   Moira, how did you go about assembling your team? 04:30   How did you go about identifying that a team was more important than individuals? 06:00   Reen, how did you manage being here when there was no early intervention? 07:00   Did your therapists ever suggest they should contact the other therapists? 09:30   How did you suggest to them and how did they react? 12:00   Huma, what is your experience of a team not going to plan? 14:15   Why do you think you had pushback from school? 16:00   What have been your shocking stories? 25:00   Do you think the shadow teachers feel valued? 38:00   What’s your best piece of advice for assembling your team? --- To learn more about SEN Education, watch Learn Autism’s video: Autism and Education: Surviving vs Thriving To learn more about Autism, visit: www.learnautism.com To watch this podcast, visit our YouTube Channel. --- Keep in touch with us on Instagram  @chroniclesofautismmomspod Download the Learn Autism app today: